It's January 11th, 2016, although I will not publish this blog until a day almost a year from now. Nearly two months ago, at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, during the most amazing adventure - you asked me to be your wife. Everything in my life fell into place in that moment, and although I was a few thousand miles from Maine - it felt like coming home.
With holidays, home renovations, kids, and all the chaos that ensues at that time of year - we haven't really taken too many steps in checking off those items on our wedding "to-do" list. Until just last week, that is. Now we have a wedding website, Save the Dates, a guest list, and just this weekend I found THE Dress. I keep waiting for someone to pinch me - to tell me I was asleep and this has all been just a dream. But no, I really am this lucky. I really do get to marry you in September.
I mean - c'mon.....how can you get any luckier than this:
I decided today that I'm going to write to you each time we pass some milestone. This one? Well finding the dress I get to wear in front of everyone as your wife is a pretty damn big deal, wouldn't you say? :) I feel so very fortunate to have the supportive family and friends in my life that I have now. That all blossomed since meeting you. Boots and Mama Bear were amazing this weekend, and it's crazy to think that I've known none of you longer than a year, but sitting here today I cannot imagine what my life was like without you.
You have made my life so much richer by standing by my side. Sharing life with you is such a contrast to how my life was without you that I can't even comprehend what my life was like a year ago. Of course I lived it, I experienced it, felt it, loved it, and hated it. But sitting here today I cannot feel that life, I cannot recognize who I was back then, and that is not a bad thing.
You have brought out all of the best parts of me, Honey. You have quieted all the voices that would nibble away at my insecurities and calmed all of the storms my thoughts would create. You've helped me grow into the person I have always wanted to be, and I can only hope that I do some small part to make you feel the same way.
This journey we are preparing for will truly be my life's greatest adventure. It will have ups and downs. It will see me take up the role of step-mother again with Cora and Greg - who I love to pieces no matter how exhausting being a parent can be. It will see me move not only back to Maine, but to Northern Maine where I belong. Our path will lead me back to all of the things I once knew were possible but lost along the way. I'm finding it hard to express to you how thankful I am for you - for your love and support, your guidance, your friendship.
You are the love of my life, Ranger Mike Winslow. It's a simple statement of something so complex that it can't be defined. You are my home, you are my love, you are my best friend, and you are my greatest adventure. I may sit here several hundred miles away babbling on about intangible things, but one thing is as real as it gets. I love you forever, for always, and no matter what.
<3
Ziggy
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